Gina Rudan's Blog

Top 5 Lessons I learned from Oprah

This past weekend I celebrated mother’s day with 6,000 women in attendance for O Magazine’s Live your Best Life Weekend and of all the lessons I learned from Oprah and her tribe which included my favorites, Martha Beck, Suze Orman, Adam Glassman and Nate Berkus, the following were the greatest insights.

1.    Live boldly. Not one but three of the speakers, including Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray Love all shared the importance and power of living boldly and I couldn’t agree more. In the last 15 months, I have taken risks, conquered fears and have realized the more chances I take, the bolder my life becomes and the bolder my life becomes the greater the rewards.

2.    Fill your cup first before you fill the cup of others.  “Wow,” I thought to myself, as I listened to Oprah share this simple yet profound piece of advice at Radio City on Saturday night. Both men and women suffer from this but women are the biggest culprits..  Why is it that we take care of our mothers, our husbands, our children, our cats and dogs before we even begin to think about our own needs? Why, why, why? If I could stress one insight the most, it’s this one. Fill your cup first ladies. And remember you are really doing a disservice to everyone you love by continuing the role of sacrificial lamb, so stop.

3.    Your work needs to be your play and your play needs to be work. It’s a simple lesson that I am finally living   and it’s so true. My work is my play and my play is my work and I can’t stress how life changing it is when you experience this shift. This may mean that you have to make a career change and I know that’s scary. But what scares me most is not living my very best life.

4.    Be the master of your own destiny.  In the novel of your life, remember you are the author and no one else. Instead of allowing others to write the next chapter in the story of your life, begin to write it yourself. We give our futures away and leave it in the hands of others. Take your destiny into your own hands and make the choices your intuitive side knows is best. And if anyone tells you otherwise, send them to you know where.

5.    Find time to be still. This year Oprah decided to practice the art of being still and has grown significantly because of it. Yes, I know, Oprah still has room in her life for growth.  Like Oprah, most of us are living a mile a minute life and it really is too much. I am a victim of this overextended disease and am here to invite you in joining me in a “be still” crusade. Every morning I have decided before I start my day of insanity to practice stillness and quiet.  For it is only when we are still that a new idea can be born.

This post is dedicated to my best friend, Katina Rojas Joy and step mom, Melba Olmeda who attended with me.  Ladies, we will never forget that experience. Enjoy the photos

On Your Next Business Trip, Pack a Tent

This week I received an exciting email from a young professional who I had the pleasure of meeting during one of my Practical Genius talks. Inspired by my message and crusade to inspire professionals to bring their whole selves to work and to honor their personal creative talents, she wrote me to share her exciting decision to take me up on my advice on her next business trip. She was heading to San Diego on business and had decided to actually go on a photo exploration camping trip while visiting California. With little time to give notice to her friends that she was coming, she decided to pack a tent right alongside her business suit and camp out for two nights in the Redwood Forrest at the tale end of her business trip. 

A rather experienced global traveler, Adie had decided to honor both sides of herself-the professional coordinator and the professional photographer. She is both and had been living out these roles separately. I encouraged Adie to realize that one side of her positively influences the experience and the success of the other and that she had to begin to seek out ways to mash, blend and deliberately crash the two.

Knowledge workers today need to learn from this young person and begin to create a life and experiences where we purposefully combine all sides of who we are into one entity and experience. I also think employers and managers have to begin to realize that her decision to go on a personal adventure is a huge advantage to her employer and to her competitive advantage as a blossoming knowledge worker, for she will return with a greater sense of self.  When one operates with greater purpose, greater productivity and conviction, this is the result. And isn’t that what the game is all about?

The trick to honoring your practical genius is to begin tackling all facets of who you are and doing so with a sense of urgency. Stop making excuses, “I will start once I have the money. I will start once my kids are off to college. I will start once I leave my partner."  There is no perfect time and the sooner you realize tomorrow isn’t guaranteed to anyone, the sooner you will begin to honor your passions, creative talents, personal truths and ultimately will begin to prioritize your true purpose.

We all need to find a way to pair a camping excursion with a business trip. Business should always come first, but think of what happier, motivated employees we would all be if we made bolder, more creative decisions on how we use our time on business trips.

While reading Adie’s moving email, I found myself saying to myself. “ It’s working.  She got it!” This is ultimately what every thought leader wants for their audience, for each to have her own amazing epiphany.

As I sat contemplating this breakthrough, I closed my eyes and imagined this fantastic young woman “killing it” on her business trip and then visualizing her sleeping alone in the Redwood Forest with nothing but her Ipod and her camera. All she needed was the nudge, encouragement and the courage to reprogram her assumptions.

This post is dedicated to Gen Yers who are trying to figure it out. I have one piece of advice for you. Be who you are and bring it forward smartly and elegantly and you will go way beyond where you want to go.

Fearless

People ask me all the time, “Gina how do you do it?” But the real question they are asking is ”Gina, how the hell are you succeeding during such uncertain times?” 

My answer is simple. The way I see it, you have one choice in life. You can choose to live in fear or you can choose to live fearlessly. I have chosen the latter.

The greatest lesson I have learned this year is if you don’t want to live in fear, you have to take risks. The more risks you decide to take in life, the less fear you live with. Big fat, scary risks really do wash away fear and the outcome over time is a rewarding sense of fearlessness. The trick to this paradigm is if you don’t take outrageously scary risks like jumping out of a plane or committing to a relationship or, in my case, launching a business during a recession, you will never really conquer fear.

Once I realized that fear—a state of physical, emotional and intellectual imprisonment—can be put to rest by chewing off the shackles myself and jumping into the pool of the unknown, I realized how many of us don’t know this juicy secret.  Now some risks will result in failures and some will be successes and that is the reality of it. But the good news is that regardless of the outcome, the more you play with risks the better you get at selecting the right ones to take.

This is the answer to question "How the hell am I doing it?"  I am taking big risks every day. And the more risks I choose to take, the stronger I am becoming. And the stronger I become, the more inclined I am to take the risks a bit further. Working for myself, managing my household, and raising my son, all the while exploring my writing and all my other yummy passions takes jumping into the mess of life and facing it head on. There’s no other way to do it than to just do it!

 I have suffered from some apprehension and anxiety my whole life and it has only been this year—on my own, responsible for own livelihood and success—that my anxiety has been close to zero. Why and how? By confronting life with the reigns in my hands, realizing I don’t have time or energy for a panic attack if I’m moving relentlessly forward, striving toward my own success.

And you can do the same. If you are paralyzed by fear and you’re standing along the sidelines of life waiting for fear to find another victim, you’re going to be waiting a long time. Instead, twist that bad boy by the ear and recognize that it’s your choice. Fear will never leave unless you begin to make choices that replace the fear.

One way to do that is to dive into the unknown, do something radically new, challenging and outrageous. It can be a new venture, a new project, or a new-to-you activity. Pick something bold and do it. Decide to take a big fat risk and regardless of the outcome find comfort in knowing the more you play within the unknown space, the more fearless you will become. The more fearless you become the more successful you will be. Money-back guaranteed!

You are the MC of this show called life and choosing to live without fear is your ticket to absolute freedom.

Patience + Persistence = Whole Equation

As a child I remember my mom always telling me, "Sweetie pie, you have to be patient. Things don't happen over night." And still, to this day, I battle with this notion on a regular basis. What is it about patience that is so difficult for us to exercise? Is it the caffeine? Is it technology? Is it Gen X's fault? Or Gen Y's? Is it the tweeners? Or the Twitters?  I have to admit that, as I 'm writing this, I am actually feeling a bit impatient myself! Funny, but true.

Contemplating the question of impatience, and thinking about why it matters, I recently discovered that my mom's advice on the power of patience is profoundly true. It may have taken me 37 years to realize it, but patience is the secret variable in the formula for success. There it is. In one word. The answer to the proverbial question on what does it take to be successful.

But patience alone won't cut it. I am sorry to break the temporary state of euphoria around the one word "solution." Because, instead of one word, it is really two. Patience is the first. The second? Persistence. Persistence is key. I mean a Red Bull kind of persistence. Some believe, and would argue, that patience and persistence are opposites in nature. I find, though, that it is more effective, and practical, to view them as dual forces that actually work best together. As is the case with the philosophy of yin and yang. The most important thing about looking at the symbol for this philosophy is that its very nature suggests motion. Going forward. Always.

Something needs to be happening in your life while you are being patient, otherwise you are just waiting. And waiting, especially when there is so much work to be done, can take forever. Sometimes longer. Hence, persistence. It is what moves you forward and what turns patience into a proactive stance for change.

Very few people have patience and even fewer are persistent in their endeavors. This is partly the reason why so few of us, globally, actually achieve our own definitions of success. There are millions of geniuses around the world who set out to write books, run for office, patent and develop inventions or open schools and, along their journey, too many throw in the towel, ignoring the persistence factor.

Whatever it is you may be working on right now, begin with the end in mind and be mindful to inject patience and persistence throughout the entire scope of your work process, no matter how many obstacles, rejections, and/or closed doors you face along the way. No one likes to be rejected but it happens to the best of us. What helps is if you view it as a numbers game. Think of it as a formula. The more patience you have, the more time you have to cultivate and create genius. And when you add a heaping dash of persistence to the mix you are guaranteed to succeed at what ever you set your heart to. Whether it's creative success; intellectual new idea success or financial success. The formula works across the board.

Many people believe success has everything to do with luck-defined as "preparation meeting opportunity." While this is also important, luck alone just does not cut it. And if it ever did it won't anymore. What does cut it- is time and never ever giving up, no matter what.

And that's one to grow on.

The Power of Drums

Tonight my husband broke out and dusted off his drums - an old school 1958 Vintage drum set which he hadn't touched in 6 years. As I watched him "jam" to his favorite songs, honoring a creative passion he had let fall silent since getting married, I was reminded of the magical power of drums. The energy created transformed our Monday evening routine into a kind of garage band jamming session. We were making music. I thought, "is this really happening? Are we really dancing, sharing and celebrating the rhythms of drums all on a Monday evening in my living room?" Even the cat's tail stood up in that 90-degree place of happiness.

As we danced, celebrated and rejoiced in our out of the box behavior I found myself lighting a candle in honor of the power of the sound of a drum. Which speaks to the spirit and therefore is a spiritual instrument. What is it about drums that speak to the soul of all living things? What is it about honoring a creative passion after ignoring it for far too long? What is it about Mondays and changing it up a bit? The answer is in all of the above.

I have been exploring the power of inner genius and creativity within my own writing, discourse and seminars for a while now and the manifestation of my message was happening in my own home.

It is one thing to ponder an idea as a writer, and a whole other powerful experience to watch someone you love act upon your message. I savored the moment and, naturally, found myself reaching for my journal.

My husband's embrace of his creativity activated mine. I got a writing itch which, of course I scratched - all the while keeping time with the drum. This my friends, is what Monday evenings should be all about.

This is dedicated to players of old school Vintage drum sets all over the world.

Don't Cook when You're Hungry

So many of us are feeling hungry these days. As so many people, in so many places, operate from a space of figurative and literal hunger, the sparkle and the bubble of too many people's lives seems to just be going flat. And, for someone who only drinks carbonated water, I don't do well with flat. 

This week I had to take a reflective moment to adhere to a piece of advice a friend recently shared with me.  " Gina, never cook when you're hungry. " Apparently this is an old saying. I had never heard before, but, did it make sense.  Deciding to act on this profoundly simple philosophical advice -- don't cook when your hungry-- I decided to stop cooking and start eating. For me, as a writer, that meant doing something radical...I emptied my schedule for two weeks, canceled all my meetings and decided I was going to spend twelve days filling myself up with re-reading and editing of my book. The act of liberating my schedule of transactional activities to spend my days immersed in a creative fulfilling process was the equivalent of me sitting down and deciding I was only going to eat health food smothered in chocolate for two weeks. Which means the experience was heaven. Absolute, and purposeful indulgence.

Having freed myself up from corporate America for about a month now I discovered that I had been in what I call "transactional mode." Which is never good. Operating in transactional mode is when you find yourself spending all your time: checking email, sending email, playing phone tag, paying bills, buying products, selling services, running errands and cleaning up your inbox - activities which require little to no brain power.  Everything you want to do, everything you want to be -- everything that you are -- gets set aside.

 When I stopped operating in transactional mode and began to focus my passions and what fills me, my experiences began to shift, improve and change in ways that were like dreams coming true.  There was an incredible energy shift within 24 hours of stopping, shutting off CNN and realizing I should be operating from a position of inspiration rather than transaction. And, when I began to actively make the shift I actually began to feed myself.  I also felt myself becoming alive.  By taking control of my schedule and allowing myself the room to fill my time with the passion, energy and concentration it needed was an immediate awakening for me. There is no reason why you cannot do the same thing if you commit, with all your heart, to doing the same.

If you are suffering from the "well has run dry" mentality and are adsorbing all the negative and depressed energy that can easily feel as though it is everywhere right now, take a moment to create a force field and boundary around yourself for your own emotional and intellectual health. Reject the, "We are starving and about to die," mentality and begin to fill yourself  with inspirational writings, conversations and contemplations. The objective of our days should always be profound and masterful first.  Transactional should always  be secondary, regardless of economics. 

In order to shift the energy paradigm globally, it must start within us first. So please consider this a dollop of inspiration in your kitchen.  Begin to feed yourself with other kinds of exchanges, information and inspiration during these difficult times. From a place of purpose, love and prosperity, Gina, who is now ready to cook. Literally.

Today I Go Solo

Two weeks ago I resigned from my day job to start the job of my dreams. Today is the day I go solo. I am scared, excited and feel outrageously purposeful. I have decided to listen to my instincts for a change and take the biggest risk of my life by launching my very own venture, genuineinsights.com, which is a personal brand coaching, training and marketing practice. I am leaving 15 years of corporate citizenship and am joining the tribe of the entrepreneur and because the creative innovative freedom not only feels right - I know it is right.

My passion has always been advising, coaching and helping creative visionaries actualize their dreams. My second passion has always been writing. Rather than do both on the side - in evenings, on the weekends and after hours - I have decided to dedicate my every waking hour to working for myself and on projects which I deem interesting and provocative. Like many other right brainers, I am leaving my comfy corporate gig to quench my thirst to create, inspire and make change. What is inspiring is that I am not alone; there are countless numbers of us leaving cubicle nations all over the world.

Cultural modernists, like myself, are voluntarily deciding to leave our corporate cocoons to blossom. In fact, just the other day my husband read a great article that described this very trend. Reading about others who were not let go and still decided to leave, regardless of the economic downturn, comforted me in a big way because it reinforces my belief that creativity and innovation should never wait or be put on hold. So, like all of the other risk takers that are thirsty to create, I am saying goodbye to security and hello to creative freedom.

Since I have made this decision opportunities seem to be magically appearing before me. I am connecting with people in a new way, which is encouraging. People from my past are mysteriously resurfacing, people I admire are starting to follow me on twitter and I feel as if I am slowly being welcomed into a tribe of like minded thinkers without asking to join, which is a testament to the fact that I really am doing the right thing and am moving in the right direction.

If you are curious to learn how I arrived at this decision, read on...

Three months ago I had Lasik surgery and developed an infection that resulted in temporary blindness. It was at this moment that an old friend from college, Debbie Cowell called me. I don't know if it was the Xanax or the darkness but the conversation I had with her gave me more clarity than I have had in years. It was then, during that physical crossroads, that I experienced a genuine insight that would change my life. That insight was the need for creative freedom. Freedom to think, to create, to write, to speak, to yell, to make change and to begin to live the life I had always intended for myself. It was within the context of this conversation with Debbie, who I now kindly refer to as my Oracle, that I decided to leave my corporate job and write the book I had living within me.

It is amazing how people come into your life at the most interesting times. Believing in destiny, mystical messages and harmony, I knew there were no coincides to why Debbie, re-entered my life and when she did I grasped the opportunity she offered up like a toddler grabs onto his sippy cup. I drank from that chalice and am happy to say: thank God for temporary blindness, thank God for living Oracles and thank God for giving me the strength to take this risk as a forward thinker, writer, change agent, wife, daughter and mother. I know this journey will not be easy but I am ready, equipped and determined to make it interesting. So stay tuned for more as I venture into the unknown.

For information on my new practice, please visit genuineinsights.com

What Happens in Vegas doesn't Have to Stay in Vegas

Two weekends ago was my best friend's Gina Benning's big 40th birthday, and rather than spend it with her better half, Ivan, and their English Bulldog, Talulah, she decided upon a girls only weekend instead. Her husband, Ivan, took her up on her special request and went ahead and organized a weekend designed for a Queen and her Duchesses and I am honored to be sharing this story as one of the three Duchesses. There is something magical about going on vacation in honor of someone you love, respect and admire. And to have it all organized for you with surprises throughout the entire experience, beginning with the destination, is something else entirely. Every day of our three day packed itinerary there were surprises and the fantasy was facilitated by the birthday girl's commitment to making it special and unique for each of her best friends. I always knew the power of generosity was huge but this weekend was a testament to it being about so much more than money and, as a result, worth so much more to me as I share it with you.

After the initial surprise of our destination, Las Vegas, we were still happily kept in the dark about the rest of our plans. The underlying theme was pleasant surprise. On the first night we went to see Ka, by Cirque du Soleil. by now you should know that I LOVE Cirque du Soleil. Day two - Gina's Birthday - was fully packed. It started with a tres fancy ladies-who-lunch type brunch in a garden room surrounded by glass, flowers and natural light, and each of us was compelled to order the most decadent think we saw! Next was a day at the Canyon Ranch Spa, which really is something that must be experienced to be fully understood for its splendor. The birthday dinner surprise location was Tao, an Asian inspired restaurant that does a wonderful job of articulating the meaning of its name through its atmosphere. In between the activity, gifts were left by the foot of our beds daily. Chocolates on day one, evening bags on day two and stress relieve bath products on day three to be used in the soaking tubs in our hotel suites.

The whole weekend was filled with: excitement, bonding, celebration of passions, debate, healing, laughing, crying, dancing, eating, dressing and shopping and brining out the alter ego within each of us. Deborah became De De, Lisa became Lola, Gina became the Queen and I became Gi Gi. Role playing the divas within us, all the while celebrating and catering to our queen was great fun. And did i mention the group of women I was with were all in their forties and had left their day to day lives at home, in the care of their partners, for the weekend of play?

The entire experience was a testament to the power of generosity, fantasy and to power of women playing together in honor of love. This post is in dedication to Ivan who financed the multi-sensory experience and of course in honor of the queen in his life, Gina Benning.

Celebrate all that is YOU this holiday season!

 

If that means partying like a Rock Star, then go for it! Life is too short not to live the best life you can.

Happy Holidays and May 2009 Bring out the Best in You!

Overindulge in Play

Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that has shifted its focus to one of overindulgence. We are encouraged to eat as much as we can and drink as much as we can while laugh as much as we can and even cry as much as we can becoming byproducts of family tensions rather than togetherness. Then, the day after arrives and we are encouraged to overindulge in spending and shopping as much as we can. "Is this why we take the day off," I ask myself? Rather than spend the day fighting for parking, and sales prices which are really just bait to encourage shopalcoholism, and dealing with masses of stressed out shoppers, I decided to dedicate Black Friday to a day of free play. Do you remember having "free play" during summer camp? There was no scheduled activity attached to it and you could do whatever you wanted in the large gym for an hour.

Rather than obsess over the holidays, the diet promises you didn't keep, or the lurking holiday around the corner, I am offering that you, instead take a day of free play. Take one day this season for the child within. As adults we forget how good it is to let go and just run through a field; or swing as high as you can; or skateboard up and down your block. How wonderful Black Friday could be, if every single adult could spend the day playing, dreaming, climbing, sweating, laughing, running, panting, building, screaming, chasing without a worry in the world. But why limit it to that one day when life has the potential to be so much more sublime. It all depends on how you look at things, and that is not a guess.

I ventured with Stephen and Lucas to a public park in Deland, Florida, where we spent the weekend with family. While visiting this recreational oasis which, included a really cool skate park, I was reminded of the power of play. I got on a big swing and swung as high as I could while gazing up into the empty blue sky. I watched skateboarders practice their dance on metal rails. I watched cheerleaders work their routines and I watched my son run through a flock of ducks by a reservoir. And I had fun. The best kind of fun, free fun, magical fun, the type of fun that allows you to escape your adult worries.